when u get a sudden wake-up call..most of the time it became an important moment in ur life as it's when the turning point in ur life occur. i'm technically aware of my need of one significant, life changing wake-up call that i must receive to get my life be on the track that i used to walk on. i'm lacking here and there, i'm well aware of it and i'm still unmotivated to make a change. i want to be more motivated in my study..more focused in doing the best that i can. but i can't!!!! why??!! 

those people around me must be laughing at me of what i had become now..no more a smart, motivated, dedicated and all the good things...bla bla bla... their heads must have become as big as it can be and i'll be under their feet! what the hell am i thinking!..this is not i should be thinking about..

O Lord..i need to change my life, the way i'm living it. i gotta find motivations before it's too late!!

i need a wake-up call!

....lies...cheats....breaking up....

wat more words i can say...

i'm not sure wat's really going on...but i'm sure we aare not happy....

who's dat bitch trying to break my parent into parts...

whoever she is..I HATE HER!!!

OO YEAH~~ i'm getting more active in blogging now... just because it's been years that I've been stuck in the same point every single time..and it's predicted that it's going to be worse if i don't do anything about it. The whole problem is than I CAN'T ACHIEVE MORE!!! now i'm feeling more that this medical course is not for me...but why am i still here? HUH!!! I oso dono. This things keep playing with my feeling. I wanna give up but i never badly fail..I wanna keep going but I'm not performing well. Haizz~~ 

LORD....what's Ur real plan actually??... I think I'm going to follow the flow...just let it be!!!

When i saw my result for my 3rd yr...OMG~~It's worse than i thought!! i'm happy wif my O&G and surgery posting's..at least i can show some A's to my mom but....medicine~~i'm absolutely not satisfied!!! Why did this happen to me?? Why am i so stupid??!!! This was why I cried before..I knew this long before but I just can't get it over.

Prof.1 exam was another disaster...the worst of all worsts... it's no use I think if I'm just this much..B is bitchy!!! if got some minus on it...then it's negatively bitchy!!

I should be punished I guess. I'm not thinking of something bad like hurting myself..NO!!..i just need to be more conscious! I was sleeping and relaxing these whole time...someone please..just give me some lessons!!

orite!! enough!! I'm all out...

...and i wanna go to the beach~~i wanna see sunset..

...it might be childish or dramatic..or whatsoever! But I hope someone would bring me to see the sun rises in the morning..i never see sunrise!!..well..it's could bring some sentimental values for me....

...Guardian Angle : Yah...yah...yah...In ur dream, Rose....

...Rose : People dream to live....

till then..C u again...

lots.of.love,

HOLA~~ 안녕..... i'ts been a while. Hm..new academic year had begun..it's my 4th year now in my M.D course. so~~ that's also mean..2 years left b4 i actually graduate!! yeah~ time is always unpredictably fast moving. even though now it's only the end of 1st week of my forensic posting but i never expect it would be so fast. Forensic posting is so interesting..for some people that prefer to work with the dead rather than the living would find it even more interesting. If before this I only watched CSI dramas and sometime it's only "watchin" but now get more feelings of it. I haven't really observe or assist or do post-mortem procedure because of my name is down on the list...well to many students in my class that we actually have to be patient a bit. BUt when the time has finally come..hm..how would i react? But i guess there'll be nothing much bizarre or 'awkward'...just like cadaver thing or like in operation theater (only that patient is alive just anesthetized). I shouldn't be worry.

Some changes happened in my campus life. Didn't expect that in the end I also will move out form my beloved luvely-big-hostel room and about to start my private life in a single-person-room. Well..hopefully next week can start moving..just waiting for the previous owner to move out from there. Me in fact, don't want to move out. I love my room (that i'm going to leave) now. It's big and so much more comfy than any room else. But....hm..somehow I have to. I actually would like to apologize to people I emotionally hurt. I was acting strange lately to someone. It's only because I was hurt to by what happen and it needed sometime to heal but it's ok now. Sorry my ex-roomie...

 HUHU...almost forgot! EXAM~ who expected by the end of 2nd week of my newly begin 4th year EXAM come to visit.. Well...it's not really shocking for us..we use to this already. I wonder how would someone out the blue be thrown into our course...must be hundreds times more stressful. It WAS for me when I was in 1st year. Now it's better but it's still stressful no matter. 

 OK..this year will be having some postings..Forensic, Paediatric, Ortho, ENT & somemore, Family Meds, Community Meds, Psychatric.....and...i forget some more...hehe ^^v. I'll work hard I promise...harder than before. And the end of this 4th year gotta do Elective Posting some more. Hopefully to get the same hospital as the rest of my. Can't do oversea (only in my dream~ T_T)..just over the sea..haha..Kuantan, Pahang. I have no idea what to expect...what will happen later.. just let it be...

 

Lots.Of.Love,

~rose~

Now Playing: The Beatles' Let It Be......