this is it.......

this is it..d knockout! maybe it's time to start taking this seriously..about giving up. i never destined to be a doctor...

STUCK??

OO YEAH~~ i'm getting more active in blogging now... just because it's been years that I've been stuck in the same point every single time..and it's predicted that it's going to be worse if i don't do anything about it. The whole problem is than I CAN'T ACHIEVE MORE!!! now i'm feeling more that this medical course is not for me...but why am i still here? HUH!!! I oso dono. This things keep playing with my feeling. I wanna give up but i never badly fail..I wanna keep going but I'm not performing well. Haizz~~ 

LORD....what's Ur real plan actually??... I think I'm going to follow the flow...just let it be!!!

When i saw my result for my 3rd yr...OMG~~It's worse than i thought!! i'm happy wif my O&G and surgery posting's..at least i can show some A's to my mom but....medicine~~i'm absolutely not satisfied!!! Why did this happen to me?? Why am i so stupid??!!! This was why I cried before..I knew this long before but I just can't get it over.
Prof.1 exam was another disaster...the worst of all worsts... it's no use I think if I'm just this much..B is bitchy!!! if got some minus on it...then it's negatively bitchy!!
I should be punished I guess. I'm not thinking of something bad like hurting myself..NO!!..i just need to be more conscious! I was sleeping and relaxing these whole time...someone please..just give me some lessons!!

orite!! enough!! I'm all out...


...and i wanna go to the beach~~i wanna see sunset..
...it might be childish or dramatic..or whatsoever! But I hope someone would bring me to see the sun rises in the morning..i never see sunrise!!..well..it's could bring some sentimental values for me....
...Guardian Angle : Yah...yah...yah...In ur dream, Rose....
...Rose : People dream to live....

till then..C u again...

lots.of.love,
~rose~

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kota kinabalu, sabah, Malaysia
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