What love suppose to be like?
Is it suppose to make ur heart race or flutter? Does it always has to be like that..? I don't know but when love came this time..it's abit unexpected.

Thank you, Lord. I think I  have been opening up a bit. U know what? Time does heal a broken heart. And of course it's 90% came from your inner strength. It consists of what ur foundation is..ur belief and ur positivity.

I still believe that as long as I try to avoid my past from coming back to me, then I  will be OK. Yes..it works for me. It's not that I don't want to forgive and forget about my past. Forget..no, I will never be able to forget. Forgiveness? That's between me and God. Who said I don't forgive? I need to forgive. But it is not that easy. So as long as I  won't see that someone for the rest of my life, I  will be able to have a closure..and forgiveness. I thought it was well...for sometime. Until recently, that guy started to send texts again. Do u honestly think that I still trust u after what happened? And obviously u can't even keep ur own promises that u won't contact me anymore. It only lasted for few months then here he goes again. If what he want is some forgiveness then he doesn't have to worry. First of all..if i want to forgive someone or not..dat is between me and God. Or if he thinks that I owe him an apology.. I am deeply sorry for what happened before. I was too dumb to realize that I  had gone too far. I am sorry but please keep urself away from me. I don't want to see u in my future as a friend, as a stranger or even as anything. U are living a happy life now so don't make my life hard. Keep ur distance. I had been so happy and at peace this whole time until u texted that day. Ok. That's enough about that u-know-who guy. He is just a guy without a firm ground. Who can't even keep his own promise.

Hmm... I am scared if I had been too bad. But ermm.. Thank God.. I do feel better now..minus those recent issue I'd mention just now. But ya.. At least now it's better. Thanks to that boring guy. Oops.. Haha.. Iya.. I found one boring guy. Like...so boring..tidak romantic langsung! But he's nice and caring. Or at least he didn't look at out differences at jump into conclusion that we might not have future together. Instead what he said was it's fun to be different. He's not someone new though.. He had been there the whole time.. I just recently realise that I shouldn't be so hard on him. Things going on nicely so far. Though as usual..we are too busy with our own job. But I  tried to spend as much time with him. Anytime we can spare for dinner or meal together then we will just squeeze in. I'm leaving it all to God and I  don't want to do the same mistakes I did before.

Oh Lord... How should i do..? To open up my heart for him. He is still there..after all I had done to him.. Lord..make me forget about the past..the one who said there's no future.. Lord.. I am desperately need to forget and accept this honest man..
Aarrrggghhh... So stressful..