bucket list and travelling..
Ok..cukup lah crita pasal benda2 ridiculous tu tadi. Let's talk about other thing... Travelling!! In hell-like place (o+g posting) like this, the thing u need the most is VACATIONS! Yay~~ let's go on a trip baby! Hmm.. the last time I went somewhere was last year November..to Bali. Bali was so nice..omaigosh..I really like that place! It's cheap, no language issue and totally worth ur time and budget. Overall, I only spent like 1K there..including all..flight ticket, hotel, driver and transportation, foods, souvenirs and others. So cheap and the place was amazing...so beautiful. It's like when u go to a place..it gave an "awe"....there u walk and go further in the place, u keep 'awe'-ing.. like..waaaahhh..cantiknya~~ only all the time. Bali is heavenly beautiful. I will go there again someday.
Next trip will be Krabi...somewhere next month (August or September) or anytime from now. I really love travelling. I want to go to all the beautiful places in this world. And I tell u what.. my future plan.. after housemanship..i'll take at least a month or two cuti..just to go for backpack travel in Europe..for one whole month. Estimated time for my superb Europe-backpack travel plan will be next year..Feb or March. Ok..kumpul duit dari sekarang.. Hehe..sudah start kumpul.. ^_^v.. Huhu..bestnyer...
Ok..semoga angan-angan ini menjadi. I really want to go to Krabi~ It must be accomplished! And the Europe-backpack travel as well! Mesti dibuat! Harus!.. huhu..skrg terasa pula mau share my top 5 wish list. Haha..semua mau dibuat sbnrnya.. don't matter the sequence..
No.1: To own a house on my own piece of land. Doesn't matter whether I buy it or build it, it has to be under my name..LoL.
No.2: A secure future financial support. Pindik kata, simpanan. Ok so far, I'm so "untalented" in this particular issue. But so far, beside those ASB and EPF dat i have..I have my own saving now..azam untuk simpan at least 1k per month..lebih is better. But so far, the most i can simpan from my gaji is 2 to 2.5k seja..slalu 1k or 1.5k ja dapat.. Paling susah lah ni pasal duit ni.
No.3: Melancong merata dunia! Haha..ni mesti..sampai sy tua pun sy mesti melancong slalu. Dat's why i need a very secure financial future to support my life and my minat pigi melancong ni. Backpack travel in Europe..to begin with.
No.4: Naik Gunung Kinabalu. Even after the quake, the saddest and unfortunate moment recently, it won't change my wish to at least naik gunung at least once. See.. I had live for 26 years but i haven't panjat gunung. Sedih..! I must conquer it one day!
No.5: Own a family of my dream. Hahaha..macam lawak ja part ni. Haha, beside having my parents and siblings and keluarga besar kami.. i do want a family of my own. To get married to a soulmate..having kids of of 3 or 4..omo..banyaknya. Have a wedding of my dream..haha..bah..under this wish ada lagi sud-wishes banyak2. But for that part..hurmm..nnt kita crite2 lain kali.. Now..it's not the right time yet. We both need more time for our own..for him and especially me. Just pray hard..for myself to open up my heart to other once more and to pray for the best jodoh I can get.. sama Tuhan ja tu tempat meminta. But ya..as a husband.. I will consider him~ as my first choice... bleerrkk..i rasa mcm nak muntah dgn diri sendiri..lol.. Good foundation..nice guy..and someone which i can trust and won't stab me from behind. eherrmm...sudah..biarlah rahsia for now.. Yang penting now~~ I nak enjoy being single duluu for now....yay~
Roughly..these are the things that i wanted to do in life. There are hundreds more of cause..but it will take forever to write. the most important thing is I must work hard to fulfill my dreams. These things here..i thinks most of us are dreaming about the same things isn't it? These are like "general" things u want to do in life. But none of this will come true without hard work. So guys, Let's work hard to fulfill our dreams..
I said nothing about career there..haha. Ya, dat's important as well.. Even though this job of mine is a challenging job, but I will try my best to move on and carry on this job perfectly. I always dream to have a side income actually.. not to open my own clinic but..it's a business still. To open a coffee shop..or cafe or any business lah.. As my other vessel to release the stress.. Or even if it will be stressful..as business is always do. but at least it's a different kind of stress than the stress of my current profession.
Ok..bah.. two entries in a day.. Good 3 days off.. nice. I wish to have something like dis again.. in the near future ----> Krabi~~ huhu..so excited..
Till then.. cukup lah utk kali ini..sambung lg next time.. huhu.. I shud share my trip to Bali last time..huhu..bah,,nanti lah aa~..
#workhardforyourdream
Monday, July 27, 2015 | | 0 Comments
Bad weeks of my life...
ok..as I mentioned before, currently I'm in O+G posting in Hospital Likas. It has been around 6-7 weeks I've been in this nasty place. This place is full of drama all the time. Drama..drama..drama...so drama. Uurrggghhh! Hate it here. From the start until now.. I can't even feel a bit feeling of liking or enjoying this posting. No! I hate this place!
At the beginning.. I tagged for damn 1 excruciating month! It supposed to be 2 weeks only but because my assessment went down to the drain then bah..tagged lah sy satu bulan. OMG..I did my assessment with a senior MO who wanted a 100% score. I felt like having a end-posting exam instead. Aigoo..i was only been there for 10 days that time..but expected to know everything. I guess I just been so UNLUCKY..it was hard.
Ok, then after I got off-tag I got located as a "chemo girl". Waah..sound so grand but the job is like shitzz! In short, it's not even a doctor's job..it's a clerk job, nurses can do the job, a pharmacist's job and the most appropriate word for it is..slave. I didn't learn a thing there..it's ridiculous in there. I really really really hate it. How much I hated it? As much as i hated SM..so allergic to it. I rather quit my job then to continue to work there again. The job pressure me mentally and physically as well as emotionally...It's just like SM..so annoying! Another reason is the boss..so unpredictable.. So garang, and she like to make slave of people. Chemo girl is a nasty job, but i thing the nastiest is being a "runner". I can't agree when we spend our 5 or 6 years in meds school just to be like a "personal ass-istant" to dat one particular boss. The job description including to make her super perfect coffee..3 quarter glass of hot water with the coffee mixture, to park her car, prepare snack and food for her..and more unacceptable PA job in between,, lastly..some houseman job lah juga..ada lah tu.. Nasib. OMG! I dun like dat!! I found this place is full of ridiculousness.! But one good thing about being in that ward was it's far from the rest of the O+G world. It has it's drama of it own but lesser as compared to the world out there. Hmm..tomorrow I'll be working it the more dramatic world..haiz..buckle up Rose..U can go through this. Fuhh~ luckily I have this blog to write out my unhappiness..
ok..tu lah benda yang mau diluahkan sekarang..before I start to work again tomorroe. The only good thing about being a chemo girl is after the excruciating 2 weeks, u got 3 days off! But to day is my last day od.. huhu..x puas bercuti. Ok..actually..i wanted to write other thing..haha..meh buat other entry ja lah..
K..see u in my next entry..
dr.rosa yang lousy..
Monday, July 27, 2015 | | 0 Comments
Stories update..
last time..i wrote some so called prelude or watsoever. Haha.. bah..dua bulan kemudian baru ada sequel-nya. Hmm..macam biasalah..ada masa..ada urge to write..but slalu ja separuh jalan. Ada niat ja tapi malas betul mau buka laptop and internet pun kadang2 hilang. Anyway..bah..meh crite2 dlu.
medical posting was over...
huhu..sudah sebulan d posting baru which is O+G, obstetric and gynaecology posting a.k.a all about perempuan. Semua sakit puan sampailah part mengajan mengeluarkan baby.. huh~ not a really nice place to me. I dun like this posting honestly.. T_T..
Last posting..Medical was more fun for me. Kalau dulu2 masa di med school, medical posting was the one that i hated the most. But surprisingly, I fell in love with medical! Ehhemm!.of cos there's at least a reason for that..haha. Dr. TTH..my boss, my idol, my secret crush. Walaupun keja sama boss TTH for 2 weeks only but cukup..cukup best! It's the highlight of my 6-months medical posting. Boss is very bijak bistari, bertanggungjawab, berdedikasi.. sesuai sangat jadi doktor..ada huhu..flirty jg si boss tu. Suke suke.. hahaha..syok sudah.. tp pastu..slowly wean off juga crush ni.. sudah lama x jumpa boss ku. Recently heard about boss that he's going to transfer to Melaka. Huhu..boss~..belum sempat i meluahkan perasaan ni..LoL. tak pa lah..untuk hiburan semata-mata..haha.
back in swach...
hmm..after several months in QEH, now I'm back in SWACH for this O+G posting which is not really my favourite. This place is full of bitchy and witchy people. Dun understand why people need to be harsh and rude for unknown reason. Malas nak cakap pasal org2 mcm tu. So my target is to leave this department a.s.a.p. Huhu.. I hope i dun be like those people in here later on bila sudah jadi M.O. Tak pasal2 marah2 org. Ui, org buat keja utk kw tau tak? Semua keja remeh-temeh houseman yang buat. Memanglah still ada slacking here and there. Biasalah tu, houseman, apa lg yang baru start..tak bleh ka ajar elok2? Huuhu..padahal sy sendiri pn penah marah2 junior..tp tu kalu yg memang bangang tahap gaban. Contohnya satu budak ni baru start h.o 5 hari, bila tanya brapa kali da ambil blood c+s.?, dia jawab of cos many times oredi..! dengan bangganya dia. Amboi..celah mana pula dia buat blood C+S sblm ni? Skali check semua salah..tak tau pn mengekalkan sterility. Huh! bleter sudah sy sni..haha.
si dia tu...
hah..dis one also another stupid part of my entire 26 years of life. Ya ya.. u heard about him before..tu lah kambing seekor SM tu. Finally..thank God.. I got rid from him finally. Haiz... I dun like hating people bah.. my parents never taught me that. God never allow us to hate others but this one particular guy which was like a pain in the ass. Haiya..buat apa sy merenyek dekat setahun because of that guy who can't even get my name right. Membazir tenaga and masa and perasaan ja for the past a year for still thinking of him. Buduh betul sy rasa sy ni. Just look at what happened..i need to involve that so called innocent ka entah apa tu JG (memang nama sebenar) tu. I should have over him long time ago if I didn't in contact with him all that while. From my previous unpleasant breakups pun, the main factor that contributed to the fast recovery from kekeciwaan was no contact at all after the breakup. Hmm..sekaranglah baru sy terpikir betapa membazir masa betul si kambing tu. Langsung tak berbaloi. See...because he kept disturbing my life, and I kept on thinking of him I couldn't focus on the finer people around me. Haiz..but ya, it's actually better when u truly got over the past first before starting a new relationship. Sebenarnya..tidak kisah pun all this while I'm still being single while he already move on with other..i should have realize that sooner. I never been having any romantic relationship after him until now. Crush tu ada lah sekejap2 then hilang lg.
I still remember the last time we contacted..entah bangang tahap gaban sudah kali sy masa tu. Masih x sedar2 lg dia tu org yang mcmna. Memanglah slalu sy yang keterlaluan..it's because I hate him s much. Honestly..from a good mood I became emotional, angry and irritated once I got his message or anything. Tekanan betul!.. I told my closest friends about him dat time and apalagi..dorg pun sudah lebih brapi dari sy. Mulalah sy and my dear friends bertindak kebudak2an...serang si JG tu. LoL..tindakan paling mulau. Nah..lepas tu barulah sy sedar sepa sy bg dia..mmg hanya mcm sampah. Mulalah keluar part "oh i'm an officer-berpangkat-entah-apa..dun try to blackmail me..ur friends are blackmailing me..mau buat police report..blah..blah..".."u will lost ur job easily..u are still under probation for ur job while i'm not.."..tp so cliche..mau kasi report pulis pasal pulis..hahaha.. Nah amboi..ni ka lelaki yang patut dikejar2 ni? Bazir masa and maruah sy slama ni.. Adui..menyesal sy kenal org macam ni. Omo..apa salah sy sampai terkena orang macam ni.. sedih oo. See..he only care about JG's sake..only when he have to make promise with that terlebih innocent girl baru mau sibuk2 "I won't contact u anymore becos i promise jg od"...all this while when i said "dun disturb me"..smua mcm sampah ja bg dia. Aduh..sakitnya tuh disini didalam hati ku.. teramat sedih. Mimang lah sy sendiri pn penah mungkir janji x mau contact..tp I told him oredi..it was a mistake. This wasn't a good thing for me..i was just too stupid to realize it earlier. haiz..ladies..shud get rid of guy like dis.. I still can't forget when he said "we can never be together..we dun hv future together"..dengan yakinnya..but at the same time said.."oh, me and JG's future..i leave it to God..". While I was leaving to God about me and him before..he never did the same for me. Sedeh oo.. I may not be as perfect as JG yang dia slalu agung2kan tu..but i gave my all honestly when I was still with him without hesitation.. And eventho I knew it won't work out between us, i would never say such a harsh words.."no future..".. Asshole! Are u god?..so it's very sure for him there's no future.. He saw the future od..then why he's not sure about JG?? Why he cheated on her at the first place??...great..such a great man!. Oh Lord..bring me back to You Lord.. I have hated people too much.
Nah.. everytime I think about him I always end up crying. Not because of losing him..but because I lost myself ever since I knew him. How come I became so stupid and blind bcos of him. Hmm..should realize that when we are looking for relationship, not only for the sake of "takut forever alone"..mcm tu kali si JG fikir tu..teda kwn lain kali dia smpai x pandai lari dr lelaki mcm tu.. haiz..kalu sy..tidak tahan oo.. Liar, penipu tahap gaban, tidak setia..pengkhianat di blakang... Ok ok..sambung ayat.. not only for the sake of takut jadi forever alone, but seek for the true and honest one. I believe in those things called true love and soulmate. Biarlah org fikir sy kolot ka apa. Tapi honesty and faith are important in a relationship.
Ui nah..panjang sudah crita ni ging.. Ni hari adalah Hari Raya.. Happy Eid Mubaraak to all my muslim friends. Happy celebration.
bah..lain kali lah update lg. I wrote in mixed language oredi.. lawak.. hmm..sometime i feel like my English become bad when i speak other language too much..hahaha..
Ok..till then.. I'll write more nonsense in the future as before.,hehe..
with love,
rose
back in swach...
hmm..after several months in QEH, now I'm back in SWACH for this O+G posting which is not really my favourite. This place is full of bitchy and witchy people. Dun understand why people need to be harsh and rude for unknown reason. Malas nak cakap pasal org2 mcm tu. So my target is to leave this department a.s.a.p. Huhu.. I hope i dun be like those people in here later on bila sudah jadi M.O. Tak pasal2 marah2 org. Ui, org buat keja utk kw tau tak? Semua keja remeh-temeh houseman yang buat. Memanglah still ada slacking here and there. Biasalah tu, houseman, apa lg yang baru start..tak bleh ka ajar elok2? Huuhu..padahal sy sendiri pn penah marah2 junior..tp tu kalu yg memang bangang tahap gaban. Contohnya satu budak ni baru start h.o 5 hari, bila tanya brapa kali da ambil blood c+s.?, dia jawab of cos many times oredi..! dengan bangganya dia. Amboi..celah mana pula dia buat blood C+S sblm ni? Skali check semua salah..tak tau pn mengekalkan sterility. Huh! bleter sudah sy sni..haha.
si dia tu...
hah..dis one also another stupid part of my entire 26 years of life. Ya ya.. u heard about him before..tu lah kambing seekor SM tu. Finally..thank God.. I got rid from him finally. Haiz... I dun like hating people bah.. my parents never taught me that. God never allow us to hate others but this one particular guy which was like a pain in the ass. Haiya..buat apa sy merenyek dekat setahun because of that guy who can't even get my name right. Membazir tenaga and masa and perasaan ja for the past a year for still thinking of him. Buduh betul sy rasa sy ni. Just look at what happened..i need to involve that so called innocent ka entah apa tu JG (memang nama sebenar) tu. I should have over him long time ago if I didn't in contact with him all that while. From my previous unpleasant breakups pun, the main factor that contributed to the fast recovery from kekeciwaan was no contact at all after the breakup. Hmm..sekaranglah baru sy terpikir betapa membazir masa betul si kambing tu. Langsung tak berbaloi. See...because he kept disturbing my life, and I kept on thinking of him I couldn't focus on the finer people around me. Haiz..but ya, it's actually better when u truly got over the past first before starting a new relationship. Sebenarnya..tidak kisah pun all this while I'm still being single while he already move on with other..i should have realize that sooner. I never been having any romantic relationship after him until now. Crush tu ada lah sekejap2 then hilang lg.
I still remember the last time we contacted..entah bangang tahap gaban sudah kali sy masa tu. Masih x sedar2 lg dia tu org yang mcmna. Memanglah slalu sy yang keterlaluan..it's because I hate him s much. Honestly..from a good mood I became emotional, angry and irritated once I got his message or anything. Tekanan betul!.. I told my closest friends about him dat time and apalagi..dorg pun sudah lebih brapi dari sy. Mulalah sy and my dear friends bertindak kebudak2an...serang si JG tu. LoL..tindakan paling mulau. Nah..lepas tu barulah sy sedar sepa sy bg dia..mmg hanya mcm sampah. Mulalah keluar part "oh i'm an officer-berpangkat-entah-apa..dun try to blackmail me..ur friends are blackmailing me..mau buat police report..blah..blah..".."u will lost ur job easily..u are still under probation for ur job while i'm not.."..tp so cliche..mau kasi report pulis pasal pulis..hahaha.. Nah amboi..ni ka lelaki yang patut dikejar2 ni? Bazir masa and maruah sy slama ni.. Adui..menyesal sy kenal org macam ni. Omo..apa salah sy sampai terkena orang macam ni.. sedih oo. See..he only care about JG's sake..only when he have to make promise with that terlebih innocent girl baru mau sibuk2 "I won't contact u anymore becos i promise jg od"...all this while when i said "dun disturb me"..smua mcm sampah ja bg dia. Aduh..sakitnya tuh disini didalam hati ku.. teramat sedih. Mimang lah sy sendiri pn penah mungkir janji x mau contact..tp I told him oredi..it was a mistake. This wasn't a good thing for me..i was just too stupid to realize it earlier. haiz..ladies..shud get rid of guy like dis.. I still can't forget when he said "we can never be together..we dun hv future together"..dengan yakinnya..but at the same time said.."oh, me and JG's future..i leave it to God..". While I was leaving to God about me and him before..he never did the same for me. Sedeh oo.. I may not be as perfect as JG yang dia slalu agung2kan tu..but i gave my all honestly when I was still with him without hesitation.. And eventho I knew it won't work out between us, i would never say such a harsh words.."no future..".. Asshole! Are u god?..so it's very sure for him there's no future.. He saw the future od..then why he's not sure about JG?? Why he cheated on her at the first place??...great..such a great man!. Oh Lord..bring me back to You Lord.. I have hated people too much.
Nah.. everytime I think about him I always end up crying. Not because of losing him..but because I lost myself ever since I knew him. How come I became so stupid and blind bcos of him. Hmm..should realize that when we are looking for relationship, not only for the sake of "takut forever alone"..mcm tu kali si JG fikir tu..teda kwn lain kali dia smpai x pandai lari dr lelaki mcm tu.. haiz..kalu sy..tidak tahan oo.. Liar, penipu tahap gaban, tidak setia..pengkhianat di blakang... Ok ok..sambung ayat.. not only for the sake of takut jadi forever alone, but seek for the true and honest one. I believe in those things called true love and soulmate. Biarlah org fikir sy kolot ka apa. Tapi honesty and faith are important in a relationship.
Ui nah..panjang sudah crita ni ging.. Ni hari adalah Hari Raya.. Happy Eid Mubaraak to all my muslim friends. Happy celebration.
bah..lain kali lah update lg. I wrote in mixed language oredi.. lawak.. hmm..sometime i feel like my English become bad when i speak other language too much..hahaha..
Ok..till then.. I'll write more nonsense in the future as before.,hehe..
with love,
rose
Friday, July 17, 2015 | | 0 Comments
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to think about...
things happen for reason...
not all good start will end up nicely...
and not all bad start will end up bad as well...
people care about the beginning and the end..
but try to enjoy the middle..the journey...it may be significant as well...