Closure..?

Day 2 in kampung....

In short..i just think a lot!! Like a lot! I hate myself because I tend to make things complicated. My plan is to calm myself..to have time with family. But instead i still unable to find the peace i really need. Still feel like there's a burden i haven't let go. What is it?! Huurrhhhggghhh.. I guess I'm still dreaming..last day I sent stupid message to Ajushii..told him what i feel. See! This is why I couldn't get a closure. Of course that I miss him like crazy. Only God know how i feel. Aching here...But what i need is self control. The situation is still not suitable yet to do anything.

Hmm...mom asked me about him of course. Haiz.. Stresss!! Dono wat to say..i'm wrong oso..

May be it's right..u don't know how precious someone is until u really lost dat someone. Kalau ikut hati..i want to start all over again with him..to start right this time. But not now..now no good..so many things to settle first. And him oso..i think by  now he really had given up on me..he didn't even reply my msg anymore.. T_T After what i had done to him..all the tension and blame..he's totally gone. But it's not wrong hoping for something like dis is it?.. Oh God..give me strength..

So meanwhile..i have to be patient..keep faith in God to accept whatever God's plan is..whether there's a chance to start again or not..i need to be patient and to accept whatever it may be...
Ok..divert my attention for a moment. Hmm...the plan today..to change the floor mat in d living room..huhu..so many things to do..kena kasi alih smua barang2..n only us girls here. Si boliou outstastation d Pulau Banggi. Our house is so kesian od.. Haiz..smua plan x jalan lg mw buat new house. Sibuk jak smua org. Nnt pg rumah yamai om yinai..hmm..lumohing no banal e amai..nyanyuk sudah..amu no banal kovogui. Kena spend more time with them. Ptg nnt mw pg mirung la sna..kumpul2 smua. Although xlah smua family members ada blk ni kali..but d most important people to be with are yamai om yinai. Rindu sama dorg...huhu...

Hmm...another update..i straighten my hair yesterday..did hair treatment as well. Paid 118 bux for dat. Uurghh..ok..xpa..at least i dun have to blow my hair everyday od. Huhu..puas hati jg..i like my hair n d colour now. Although dis colour mcm entah..initially d colour was quite bright..then i dyed it black again myself but seem like it been washout so it turn brown. But i like it..hehe.. My hair is so rosak lorr..but look ok bit after the treatment.

Ok..will show some pictures later..now..wakey2.. Time for breakfast! Huhu..so used to wake up early..cuti pn i tbangun awal. And..ya..b4 i forgot..need to reply messages smlm..slept so early last nite.. D other guy's msg pn x tbalas..keja dia smlm.. Huhu..sepa ni d other guy?? Nnt crita2..but he's not new lah..just to distract my attention. Hahaha...not giving any hope..just friend..fullstop! He happen to know my secrets..so dats why need to keep him or else i have to kill him..khekhekhe..

Till then..have a nice day!

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